F*ck Mother's Day... >(

He post a picture of happy mother's day in his wechat moments.. and in his fb... >( this kind of social wannabe, potraying such a good person la wishing everyone HMD..

HE DIDNT WISHED ME OR HIS MOTHER LOR... WTF

Im not pissed he didnt wish lar, 3rd year already... but Im pissed him demanding me like a MAID...

Bell is sitting on the table with him, eating hotdogs, and he sat there with her watching his ipad, and I sitting on the sofa mending my things (tv) and he can demand me to get a cup of water to bell... Why cant he move a bit and get it???

Ipad dramas can be paused but no, im the maid!

Sommore MOTHER'S DAY I toast bread and made milo for him ... not the other way round meh!!! 
I willing do so if its been ask nicely, not demanding like a maid!!!! >(   #sopissed
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He ask me to call unifi and ask how long more the contract for taming, WHY CANT HE CALL IT HIMSELF??? how hard to call 100 and press BAHASA MALAYSIA??

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Night time BIL ask to join for dinner, since I didnt go back seremban to celebrate with my mum, and so we went.. I took out my ipad for bell, but I played a bit of games first before passing to bell, and he can sternly warn me not to play such things there???? is it illegal to play games?? Its cooking dash!!! WTF? He read his soccer news can???

and the whole dinner he is so pissed looking.. he didnt even want to order food!

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We cannot talk nice conversations anymore, its either he turn the topic to make it his point, or just annoy/irritated I've talked.

What have I done wrong???

I told him I need to go times square and he can forget about it and wanted to yumcha with a property agent, then I was just telling him there is a nice new cafe open near us, we shall go visit it sometime and he got pissed WTF

In the end I go Times Square didnt get my things, I have to accompany him to buy his slippers WTF

ALL HE WINS LA!! 

Random wechat FLIRTERS WTF

How should I start... I am pissed..

This is not the first time. Caught him once wechat FLIRTING with the china masseuse (but from the conversation the masseuse just want business, since he is not in China = no biz = no layan... ) fine~ i kept quiet

(googled: and if hangky panky happen in massage center, heavy fine and passport blacklist if caught *thumbs up*)

I noticed something weird these two days.. he will quickly close the chat when he saw me approch.. like hiding something.. Although its written in Chinese, I am sure they are not talking business.. :(

So choice: Ignore or check. Ignore it as a normal chit chat. Perhaps he want to destress.. As long as he brings in the meat and not get caught by me... ignore.......................

But... I cant do it..

"Sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit" Normal chit chat now.. Yes random person(but FEMALE!).. who knows later chat till enter the head, flirting become infatuation and they plan to meet up?  What happen next? And who knows where is the location of this chatters? He have to work outstation every month.. few outstations.. and overseas trips.. his brother who follows him overseas may or may not know about it. And just say if it happens and BIL knows and dont tell me how???? Who knows where he will meet some random strangers and till what extend? hotel rooms is not expensive nowadays... I've seen much true stories.. Say outstation but actually gone holiday with lovers, or lovers follow along in business trips.

Prevention is better than cure~~ there no cure for this anyway..

You see, we are in a business. But we are not rich. When you have more income, you wanna live better, you want a better car, a better house, better school for the kids.. better food, better clothes and shoe to be on par with the business "expats". But because we are in business, its it is always better to be safe and have some backup of $ and so, entertainment towards me and the kids is lesser(i mean expensive holidays) and his reason is "gotta work or else no income".. "gotta keep some $ cos economy is low" "kids is still too young to travel far"

I trust him, I pitied him, I made myself to save...But what if those "extra" income is used to entertain lovers?

I regret everly forever.

I help him to work with low pay. Yes, I have no commitment, and he brings in the meat. But low pay really makes me insecure. And I dont have much savings to survive... What if D day suddenly comes (touch wood)?? but what if? How do I survive when I cant even afford to buy a house?

What job am I capable of?? Everything have to be restarted.. and you need lotsa $$ and support to do so isnt it?


So free to chat with random strangers, why not help me with the house chores? Wash the clothes/fold the clothes and clean the dishes and mop the floor la! Why should I be the one doing it?

And he wanna win over this situation!! Like I dont know his strategy already!

he was like "why cannot just chat with friends is it?"

THEY ARE RANDOM PEOPLE! NOT FRIENDS YET! DONT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!!

Means if I quietly allow him to chat with friends, means its a green light to continue "random chatting" ????

So if he does that, can I random chat with guys randomly too?? No? And he said I also no give him face and chat with guys..

COME CHECK MY PHONE... WHICH GUY I FLIRT WITH NOW?? I DELETE NO CONVERSATIONS UNLIKE YOU!!!

To double confirm, I checked my whatsapp.. WM is elaine's husband, who needed to rant his feeling about elaine.

CY is someone else husband too! And cos he said he got pass by the office so he want to invite me lunch, which I have declined.

JW just wished me for bday and CNY..

WHO AM I FLIRTING WITH NOW???

98% of my chat are FEMALES..now how, wanna say im LESBIAN Mou??????!!!!

Who is trying to phyco who now??

bloody asshole!!

I am going to koh samui, and I am spending his money. Who cares!

Happy 29th Birthday to me~~

Its midnight now... Happy birthday to me... here I am lying on my bed, unable to sleep... babies beside me...

Nobody bothered to stay till midnight to wish me... no surprises no gift.. snoring got laah.. *sigh* is it caused by old age we no longer be bothered whose birthday? is it cos we are married for FIVE years that birthday wishes and love is no longer important? *SIGH*

Anyway....

Something I would like to pen down on my 29th birthday..

I'm spending my birthday ALONE.. In osotto... Which is something I've planned since last month..

Away from work, away from kids, always from husband.. It's a pampering day for my own self. If everything goes well, so will next year birthday be.. Another pampering day for only me...
******
Sometimes I felt the life decision I made sucks. And that's how I'm not contented in this life anymore..

If I have insisted to get OUR OWN HOME before marriage.. Life probably is better now.. I'll be MARRIED to my husband, not his family as well.. Which will make me more sane...

If I have not been so h**rny and lazy and san that condom.. I don't need to get married that early. Probably get to enjoy a few more years of single life happier with a boyfriend. And maybe a few more years in KE too..

I shouldn't have help my husband in his biz.. Not that I'm a bad wife.. But this business have taken us apart... All the stress from the business, brothers, workload, responsibilities making us drifting further.

At times I have bad thoughts of getting a divorce and freeing myself from this self-brought torturous life..

Marriage.. Sometimes I do wonder what is it for apart from binding us legally as husband and wife.. I was waaaaay happier before i got married..
Marriage is like you're automatically bound to do the extra house chores and paperwork of your husband.. And I didn't see that in our "marriage contract"

And since this kids.. Life is less sweet and excited as before marriage

Marriage makes a man(some men) think it's time to be more responsible with life and hence.. Less spending in entertainment.. More investment in a better life.. More savings=less fun

Good.. But not happy..

I don't get it, is it only my husband or everyone is like that?

Marriage makes guys think they have won the courtship and so, no need to put effort in loving the wife more, surprising her, showering more love... Which I think it's nessesary to keep the fire burning... Lifetime..

Marriage means you can be pouty or frowny to your wife and speaking less lovingly to her and she can't do anything cos she married to him... Unless the D word comes over... Which everything is too late to recover...

Yes I know social media is where we show everybody the happy parts. So I see people spending fortunes to go holiday overseas and get a hinge of jealousy. Yes we may not know probably she had arguements with her husband a day before, or work like shit at home before the trip, or family stress upon her before this trip.. But still.. Flight to LA and JW Mattiot hotel? Fuh..

But that jealously turn to sadness that my passport was not as fully used like last time. Jet setting to so many countries.. Enjoying life.. The the self questioning will appear asking did I marry the wrong guy? I should have choosen xxx instead.. I shouldn't have resign that job that at times make me unhappy and lonely but still get to let me fly around, shop around and earn MORE money...

Some incidents just make me think. Why me?? Why must it be MY DUTY to laundry the clothes, iron the clothes, filing the bills, make milk for my kids, cooing them to sleep, settling their tantrumous cries, cleaning the house.. Etc.. When I also have a full time office job? Where are my alone time? I cant even stay back slightly later in office to surf the internet! and I cant even do it at home! What life is this???? Am I not belong to myself anymore once im married with kids?????

Why I should contemplate with earning a mere 2k job and should be contemplating when ITS NOT ENOUGH???

Why should I save and spend less because I earn so less???

Why why why.. This questions will never get a satisfactory answer.. It's just things you "should" do when YOU ARE MARRIED...

FUCK MARRIED LIFE.

Little Annoying Things #6

Many things happened lately... on MIL, FIL and BIL It'll be a looooooooooooooooong story to tell here.. lol..

Anyway, that annoying thing that made me snap yesterday... When I must do the work and must do it quick when commanded.

Everyone is so into the HK drama now (Empress of China) and Annabell (whom having mild-recurring fever this few days) is feverish again.. at the most kancheong time!

CHING EE MUST GIVE MEDICINE IMMEDIATELY

Why only me? Your son cannot go?? YOU Cannot go..???? its at the kitchen only what.. I MUST GO RIGHT AWAY??? 

So I snapped!!

I just say can I give her the meds after this drama? Its just another 15minutes left! And there is no advertisement in between! Why must ONLY ME sacrify the most kan-cheong part of the drama? Another 15minutes wont kill!! (its not emergency situation what)

And YOU of all people get to rewatch the drama again and again the WHOLE DAY NEXT DAY!!!! 

I doubt I have time... So much to do and nobody help...

But in return I got scolding from Henry. What the fuck??

Henry said I should just reply "wait" but dont he know his mom by now??? the reply "wait" is not gonna shut her mouth! She keep commanding until I go! If I dont go henry also unhappy! Because I didnt listen to his MOTHER!

Im sooooooooooooooooooo PISSED!!! 

You scold my girl "Chipet" I didnt scold you what. So many times ady and I kept quiet!

I'm stingy, but I couldn't bear to let my kids put this on anymore!

I couldn't believe it at first... Malaysia's most favourite baby lotion (J&J) is a safety hazzard product. (link1)-dated 28/5/2013  (link2)-dated 13/8/2013 And most of us bought it to use on our newborn's delicate skins..

Annabell pretty much finished TWO LARGE bottles... and a few more bottles of those travel sized...
Thank goodness Annabell's skin didnt have any reaction to them.. Because Annabell have no reactions, so I got the same brand for Alivia and started using it since she got back from the hospital (Annabell started using J&J like around 5-6mths as I got 2 bottles of organic lotions on sale during mother expo.. it was good, but expensive, so I switch!)  

But due to Alivia's body more prone to sensivity/redness, she tends to have red patches around her body... We thought it was ezcema.. and very hardworking-ly slab on a lot of those ezcema creams.. sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.. and I heard (not yet done my own research ) those ezcema creams doctor gave HAVE Steroids too! and then from red it became white patches.. We still think it was ezcema, and doctor said it will go off later..

Then.. J&J lotion finished, and I didnt have time to buy another bottle (if you know my story) I managed to find some leftover bottles of organic lotions (no idea who gave or left it at home, not expired yet, probably left by MIL day-care babies) and used it on Alivia. The first tube was Sebamed. But I hated its thick consistency. My hand could never "slide" over my baby's body.. felt like Im rubbing her instead =_="

So I tried the Bud Everyday cream and yes, smells nice, smooth and guess what? Alivia's body have lesser and lesser red pathces!   What else? Maybe Alivia is sensitive to some ingredients in J&J lotion.. So I got myself another tube of Bud's Everyday Organics Baby Cream. Waaaaaay more expensive than J&J (J&J retails RM20~ for 500ml then, Buds RM35.9 for 150ml on a discounted online website and RM50++ on baby shop...) but what to do right?

Anyway.. Since Annabell started daycare(another story, another time), I thought she need lotions after her bath there (I've stopped applying lotion to Annabell since she is around 2years old, MIL said she apply it once in a while, but since somebody is applying her lotion, why not? heheh..) and there isn't any J&J lotions at home anymore, I went out to get a tube. The pharmacy have a varieties of normal lotions, so I thought I check out their ingredients and see which is the best..

To my HORROR... they all contain cetyl alcohol, stearyl alcohol (ain't alcohol evaporates and leaves your skin even drier????) fragrance(it is fine, but link1 said J&J had a lot of fragrance in it that it scales a dangerous no8 (1 is the safetest), Dimethicone(What? Link said danger level 3 and " a silicone-derived emollient, is that its occlusive nature (meaning that it coats the skin with an impenetrable layer) can cause irritation when sweat gets trapped underneath. Not only are synthetic silicones non-biodegradable, but they also may accumulate in the liver and lymph nodes, where they may foster the growth of tumors." TUMORS?? OMG Mother F! ), Methylparaben, ethylparaben! propylparaben! (PARABEN!) OMG I dont even..! , Titanium Dioxide!? Aluminium Hydroxide?? ALUMINIUM in BABY'S LOTION???  Acetate??? I use acetate to remove nail polish!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!
 

Not advertising (I dont get money from them anyway, I PAY them for their lotions) but do you know what's in Buds Everyday Organics Baby Cream?

"aqua/water,
aloe barbadensis leaf juice*, -aloevera
simmondsia chinensis (jojoba) oil*,
butyrospermum parkii (shea butter) fruit*,
olea europaea (olive) oil*,
cetearyl olivate,
sorbitan olivate,
portulaca oleracea extract,
fructan,
tocopherol,
helianthus annuus (sunflower) seed oil,
olea europea (olive) leaf extract,
lavandula angustifolia (lavender) oil*,
pelargonium (geranium) graveolens oil*,
parfum/perfume,
phytic acid,
sodium benzoate,
potassium sorbate.

parfum made from essential oils
*ingredients from organic farming
99.6% of the total ingredients are from natural origin
20.0% of the total ingredients are from organic farming
99.3% of the plant ingredients are from organic farming"

In the online shop I shop, Buds is the most economy organic lotion for babies.

Im so spending more $$ on Organic lotions for my babies T_T Sorry Annabell mummy put poison on you for such a long time TT____TT

Please let me know if you can find even better and cheaper organic lotions  (apart from making it myself -_-")