Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Jealousy?

Not really jealous la... Just envious.....

Envious why some people no need to live in with their MIL... Although they instead wished they can so someone close will care their kids. (yes I'm glad I don't need to find trusted baby sitters to care my kids, no need to frust what's for dinner. but sometimes I hated the no privacy, always have to follow old people way of caring kids, and Pyjamas zone and bra free zone only confined in the room)

Envious why some people, no need to work and stays home full time with their baby. And their husbands is not in own business. How high can one's salary goes that a business man like my hubbs cant topple with? But hubbs said I should help him take care his business. Not that I want to be a housewife.. (2months at home is not fun at all, caring 2 kids all the time no time for myself...) but I don't mind be sui-lai-lai lor... Lol

Envious how some people can afford a whole europe trip when I can't? They are not doing business also ma.... where did my money go?

Envious why some people husband are more spontanous and enjoy scouting for new adventure, being in new food place to check out or new place to go...

Yes I also understand people only post happy pictures in social medias.. You wont be taking selfies when you're angry right?

Yes I married my husband not for all materilistic things, I love my husband and so does he, but I sometimes get depressed why he dont do that, cant do that, dont want do that..

Perhaps this is my post-partum hormones speaking.....

Some will say, "envy for what.. envy no use! Work your butt out there to get what you want"

Easier said than done....



Monday, December 15, 2014

Why you so choosy...?!

Sometimes, I feel sad that hubby is choosy at food. Growing up typical chinese way, his mum cooks noodle, fried meehoon, rice for breakfast for him since young. (Not like purposely cook for him only la, the whole family, I guess probably his mum need to work so she cook those full filling food so they won't get hungry that fast?) off track a bit, I also grew up eating bread for breakfast, rice or noodle for lunch/dinner but I get bored eating same thing everyday and now I like to try on new food/explore new food like western, japanese, korean.. Etc

So, I don't get it when hubby only wants rice. Rice. Rice. *sigh*

Like last week, I suggested we celebrate his birthday earlier cos this weekend is winter soltice and his mum gonna cook and have family dinner. So happen we were in klcc and I suggest western and he kinda reluctant to want to eat western. Well, klcc don't have nice chinese food and we are only the 2 adults that actually eat, can't order a lot. Then we passed by japanese restaurant and I said ok jap food got rice.. He like "ok la ok la" not the  "wow let's try some japanese food" kind 

So we ordered some Japanese set they have and he choosed FRIED RICE as additional order #musteatrice. =.=" *sigh*

And I'm not sure he was rushing that night to go home for soccer, or just not that into the jap food... he ate most of the rice and I ate most of the set's food or sashimi, tempura etc (he tried each of them once and he's done and left them for me... I'm not sure he wanna let me eat more or he's done laa..) but that dinner was a rushed one and I felt not enjoyable... I didn't even have chance to take a picture/family picture! And alivia was cranky cos she sleepy and need me to soothe her aka rock her to sleep. Made a bit fuss there in the small restaurant.. Hmmm. 

Made me not sastified instead. Although he doesn't seems to be.. Dunno leh.. Sigh... I felt when I'm out with him nowadays I'm in a rush and can't buy anything. My trip to the mall is only walk around. Didn't even window shop not enter any shop unless that shop have his things or I really need to get something in that shop... He just wanna get thru it and find a place to sit, smoke and iPad-ing. Then ask me to walk around myself. Sad. 

Or course, our outing at least now includes Annabell so he can't smoke if bell is there so while he sit and enjoy I have to push annabell and shop around. How troublesome? Those narrow aisle is so hard to navigate. No need to buy clothes cos need to try. How to leave Annabell out? Thank goodness nowadays I don't really clothes shopping in the mall(thanks to my turning-Aunty-style-downgraded-and-stingy-to-get-branded wear) 

If I go out to shop alone (I doubt hubby let lor.. Esp alivia is so young now...) I am definately in a rush too cos either hubby will rush me home soon (keep calling with a seriously annoyed tone cos why-am-I-not-home-yet-pissed) or I'll feel guilty and worried hubby can't manage 2 kids or I will have stress in my mind that mil is gonna call me soon so just hurry up and finish already kinds of felling. I'm really unhappy like that. Better not shop right?

Anyway main point of this post is I just saw some ex colleague honeymoons trip to Hawaii and how her hubby seems so happy and so excited like that trying new food in Korea and Hawaii and food my excolleague used to eat when we layover and taking cool laughing pictures and here I am thinking hubby will not eat this, won't eat that. Dislike korean, don't like food w/o rice. How to go holiday when he need rice to survive?? I was doubting he won't enjoy his trip!

How to go Europe when rice/asian food is scarce. Have to like eat meat and western kind of food the whole trip? Heck he dislike pasta!! *horror*

I mean when we dating that time although he less keen on western food he swallow them still but after marriage only he showed his true color of disliking many food? It's so depressing! I feel depressing..!

Not only that. He doesn't like to try new food even though it's asian food! I've been pestering him to try the "boat noodle" for weeks and he seems not keen to go. I'm not sure why lor.. Yes I heard the noodles is normal la just for the sake of some pics and selfie but he is not keen to go try! My point is that! And it's not even expensive! 

Instead today he went to eat "ban Mee" alone at a new shop nearby. And his game obsession with his iPad/phone really irritates me. He can no longer sit down for a nice face to face chat. Yes he is listening to you while you talk but it's just not right. 

Right now I'm like looking for ways to save our sweet times but yet it seems to be ignored :'(

Saturday, November 15, 2014

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Just last night(not really night.. 5am?), woke up feeling my breast engorged and forcing myself to get up and pump it out (Alivia now sleeps longer at night) I have a scary feeling if I don't pump it out my milk will go even lesser, then while pumping I was thinking "hey it worked, how I expressed my feelings here in the blog and this week pass by better, I'm not pissed at mil this week" and I already think I should blog something this week as well, perhaps my own breastfeeding journey.. AND today it happens again! *argh!!!* 

Today is a busy day. Hubby need to bring his car for service and I'm suppose to go to the service center with him in another car so he leave his car there and drive me back home.. Service center took longer than usual today for hubby's turn so reach home at 11++ (out at 10.30? Not that long really). And today hubby book a time slot at 1pm to go collect our dream house key.. It's finally done... *teary eyed* and asked if I would also join. So why not?? 

So reach home, pumped out milk (like so little, still 2oz from Alivia's birth till now, sigh...) inform mil I need to go out again.. She said ok

This is my FIRST time collect keys so I didn't know it takes that long.. Checking everything with the developer and alarm contractor..... 3hours++! Then I went out early to wait for Hubby as there's meeting in office so I actually went out for 4+ hours? Damn engorged and go home to a cry baby cannot straight go pump..

Okok off track a bit. Well everyday I take out frozen breastmilk(bm) for Alivia... Last week I was using the bm from breastmilk bags so mil can easily recognize which to give if I gone out. Yesterday was the last bag so today it's those bottles. 

Now, as I pump milk and was taught not to mix bm at different temperature so the fridge have like 2-3 half full bottles of freshly pumped bm... And my frozen bm I labeled date on them with masking tape. 

When I came back home I FOUND MIL HAD USED MY FRESH BM INSTEAD OF MY FROZEN!! 

How heartache!!!! I already have lack of bm, you used my fresh bm!!!??? Yes I know la, frozen or not, it's still for my baby.. But hello, EVERY FUCKING DAY you see so many half full bottles of bm there, obviously those are fresh right?? USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN LAAAAA!!! 

"Oh I don't notice one oh! I see got milk I give lo! I no time lo! And your baby crying there so loud make me rushing" WHAT THE FUCK??? 

Fine, get over it.. I'll just have 1 less bottle to freeze today. (Already pumped lesser today cos went out so long) those Un used bottle I keep for tomorrow lo... 

Since she is so busy today those bottles of bm she used she just soak with water and left there for me to wash.. You know what, those water are WATERY WHITE in color. Meaning, she never empty that bottle properly before soaking it.. HOW WASTING...!! 

I already have so little milk, can you be nice and help me save??? You nag me for wasting water(no I didn't), waste electric(didn't too), waste this that NOW YOU WASTE MY MIIIIILLLLLLKKKK?!?!?!?!!!??!


AAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!

On another pissed scenario..

Not sure why Alivia is cranky today, maybe her mummy were out too long today she misses mummy's smell... And this week she got cough so her appetite wasn't that well and always didn't finish her milk/hard to get her drink bm... 

And Annabell is still in potty train so while I'm coo-ing Alivia to drink, Annabell sitting in her potty.. And she got up! With shit sticking there and about to fell! I'm holding Alivia who is finally drinking so I have to ask mil for help to either clean here there or bring her to wash.. SHE CAN TELL ME TO LEAVE ALIVIA AND FINISH OFF BELL MYSELF!! 

Alivia is already cranky, if I put her down she cry loudly... I know she is just washing something in the kitchen and it's not important. Can't she come out and help??????????

When Alivia cries in her swing and I am slower to attend her, she calls me. And ofcourse I'll answer her "I'm coming.." (I tend not to answer baby cries asap now.. 1)baby need to learn self soothing 2)baby need to know cry is not to mean mummy come faster to pick her up. )
And lately she is more DEAF, and she can't hear me and calls again. IT'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!! 

I'm not deaf. I can hear my baby cry and I'm preparing her bm in the kitchen!! Not doing something else! Just STOP CALLING ME!! Baby's voice already stressful. And her calling make me even more stressed!!! 

And now she wants me to put baby down and attend Annabell??! What the fuckkk? When she doesn't wanna help she said let baby cry a bit. Won't kill her. When she is annoyed baby crying, CHING EEEEEEE!! CHING EEEEEEE!!! 

SHUP UP LAA!! FUCKING ANNOYING!!

This is mentally bullying me. You won't see her calling Irene like that! Why me?????????

Friday, November 7, 2014

I have no where to complain.. So I blog!

Those were the time when my blog is my travelling diary with happy happenings.. Now it's a blog for me to complain complain complain!

It's saddening and depressing I know, but where else can I rant? Mum will be worried if I always rant to her, can't be always disturbing sis and candice, hubby won't understand and WILL ask me to TOLERATE. And it's mostly about his mum.. Everyone reads about it if I post in fb, and UN-UNDERSTANDING people will kepoh or laugh bout it. I don't need the "likes" I just want to rant!! There's nothing I can so about it, SHE WONT CHANGE HER WAYS that's for sure!

No, it's not a suicide letter/diary. I have yet to reach that state.. No my marriage is not unhappy.. It's just not perfect... LIVING WITH SUCH MOTHER IN LAW IS NOT GONNA GIVE A PERFECT MARRIAGE!! 

Update of my life: Got pregnant again! And gave birth to my second baby, a girl, named Alivia.... <3 br="">

    Alivia @ 7weeks old

So I'm now on maternity leave, confinement's over I have pass thru it again 2nd time, hallelujah thank god I've managed it better this time.. "holiday" is.... ending soon.. 

Someway, I can't wait to go back to work... 1)there ain't holiday at home! From the time I wake up at 9+ I never have a chance to lie down anywhere till night when it's time to retire! 

2) no work= no money. Mr Lee isn't gonna sponsor my Herbalife or nuskin..! He will keep asking where my 2 mths maternity paycheque went. Update: extended my "holiday" another unpaid month=no pay=no money=sooo poor=no shopping=depressing due to haven't found a solution where to put Annabell/hubby want me to stop breastfeeding by end month.. Which I won't.. Lol... 

3) I-can't-stand-MOTHER-IN-LAW!!! Especially I'm now facing her everyday-everyhour of my life!! They way she want to control things (not yet let her control me) but the way she talks and things she do. Her fucking reasons. Every fucking things have ridiculous reasons. What the fuck. Who is more educated here??????? This is where ALL my unhappiness comes from! Eg: morning waking up to a nice mood, took baby out from room and she just bathe BIL's baby... "Ching we bathe Annabell already I prepared water!" WHAT THE FUCK destroy my morning!! Hey I am 28 already la! I have 2 kids already! I know when to bathe my kids! I bathe them WHENEVER I like la!!! 

3.1: LOVES the blame game. 

 I bought and placed some organic charcoal pieces into the water kettles in the kitchens to filter the water few months back and yesterday i decided to throw them away as some are broken and it's does need to be changed. Today, MIL ask if I also threw away her white "ukia" some-volcanic-stone. No I said. And after a few more times asking I still say a firm No. Hello, charcoal are black her stone is white. I'm NOT COLOR BLIND. Now she blame the weekly Indon cleaner. -_-"

The Indon cleaner said she can't find out "zip" cleaner solution so she "borrowed" a friend's to clean our stubborn dirt and left the bottle here. I don't know why she just LOVES to stock up, MIL bought another bottle soon after (I told her we have a bottle in the cupboard and she said she can't find it, and the "borrowed" bottle was not returned) this week after the cleaner left she said the new bottle got lost. Only left the "borrowed" bottle. "Surely the maid took it away" she said. I told her impossible la, it's just a cheap thing why will the maid steal it? Or perhaps she took it and return it to the rightful owner? Anyway blaming the maid took it is the right thing......... Until she saw it later in the evening in the toilet's cupboard -_-"

3.2: Un-organized and cleanliness issue:

3.2.1: Speaking of the kettles in the kitchen. We have THREE kettles. 1 to put in drinking water (OLD fashioned till really village style. I told her get some nice plastic jugs for drinking water but she still bought a kettle). Another electric kettle is for boiling  water and let it cool down before transferring them to the drinking kettle. (And we also have a electric thermos for hot water, so kinda have 4 kettles in that kitchen) and the last is for filling in filtered water to be used for cooking. And this particular kettle is the one I'm pissed of. Yes la when the water filter is clogged(thought her hundreds of times how to remove the filter to clean. Her bloody reason everytime: I old woman I still don't know how to) the filtered water will flow really slow and she can't wait. I'm fine with her filling the water for "urgent" use but WHY another kettle??? And due to lack of space, the kettle is placed inside the sink. Thus Mr.Kettle has proclaimed that sink his! That particular sink have no more use other that being Mr.Kettle house. Sigh. So all of us can only use 1 sink in that kitchen for everything else. Ok fine. I've got used to it. Then yesterday so happen the very rare me want to refill the other kettles with water to boil and lift up Mr.Kettle. And..... I found a chicken skin/carcass underneath. *insert horror face* she never clean there or never see that carcass or what?? I mean she DO lift Mr.Kettle to use right? update: she does pick up the kettle when refilling the electric one to boil, but she uses a cup to scoop water out when she is cooking.

3.2.2; used to happen to me. Now to BIL's. Next time care alivia, Back to me. She thinks it's ok to leave baby feaces uncleared if it's just a bit on the bed/mat. BIL's daughter so happen peed a lil too far and stained a little on BIL's bed (yes we do have waterproof mat to change baby diapers, no we didn't buy a baby changing table) and she just say she didn't manage to avoid it but "just little bit la, never mind la!" Used to happen a few times to me during Annabell's time. That also cos I found out as the bed is still wet/the mat got yellow stain.. When I wash it she also said the same "aiya little bit never mind la!" *gulp*

Many more... Mind you... If I really list out more I can write a novel already! The sink, the table, the fridge, the freezer, the drawer, those shit stuff hanging there.. Those extra pots and pans and wok I don't know why she still buy that much when she already have enough. But after 4 years co-living, I who is also not that OCD but still beh tahan have got used to it. Just waiting for the day when I have my own house and MY OWN KITCHEN! 

3.3: No organized schedule

Recently she bought a infrared bed for health benefit and the agent advised to sleep on it 40minutes 2-3 times a day. Before that she goes to the center to sleep on every morning. Since she wakes up like 5am every morning sometimes she sleeps on it around 6-7am after doing her chores. But sometimes I really don't know what was she doing that she didn't sleep and then fuss to sleep on it when I'm the busiest. ie: today. Since tomorrow is Chinese 15th so she normally cleans the altar early morning but today she only clean it in the noon. Then I was busy giving milk to Alivia and she volunteered to feed Annabell lunch. (Who woke up 9.30+, had her milk around 10am and I doubt she is really hungry at 12...)Once I'm done with alivia I wanted to do some chores but she quickly pass Annabell's lunch to me and said she wanna lie down on that bed. Bell's lunch like left 2-3 more feed why can't she finish that for me before lying down??? No she put down the bowl on the table, changed and go on to the bed. By hook or crook I am to take over the last few feeds. WHHHYYY???!! I did ask what was she doing this morning that she didn't clean altar and sleep she didn't answer me. Really. Sigh. 

3.4: Over pampering her youngest son

And the least useful one. She deemed he is stupid. He's not. He is just childish and over pampered. He used to work in a cyber cafe so that he get to play more games! He never bring in money to his mum. So all his expenses at home was paid by his 2 elder bros. Jobless, his parents have to pay his car loan. My husband PAYS his insurance! Update: He ask me to help him withdraw money from bank next month, he need to pay back his bro... lol.. what is this? Turn over a new leaf? Still he doesn't need to do any house chores, including his room.(he can sleep in that dumpster if nobody clean his room, there's bed bug in the room! There's once it SPREAD to everyone's room! So scary! And nearly depressed me cos I thought I was the one so dirty and brought the bugs in cos I got bitten first) the fact he didn't feel itchy when got bitten really disgust me!!! Ergh!! he doesn't need to do his laundry and he gets home-cooked breakfast every morning! (He now work with his bro again, no he still doesn't bring in money to his mum!) Update: MIL told me he pay... first month... not sure months after that lar~ now even though I beh tahan mil, I don't want her to work so hard and get so tired! Waking up early to cook his breakfast(rice and veges especially for him as he prefer rice and can also pack for lunch. While his elder bro gets other breakfast cos they don't like rice for breakfast) and no the office is not dirty till the stage where you need to change your jeans/cargo pants EVERY FUCKING DAY. His brothers work outside, they only changes their jeans weekly. I re-wear my work clothes once more before a wash. Now like I said he don't do his laundry. His laundry basket is in the toilet So once mil see the basket full (the basket is small and gets full when ther are 2-3sets in it) she washes it. Then crowd-launder it at the already crowded balcony. I HATE HIS CLOTHES. I don't know why. I just can't stand his clothes. Thick and space taking clothes! What's more he don't fold it so I have to fold them. Pisses me off!! I voiced out to mil. "Pants don't need to be changed everyday!" Mil can actually side him said don't change his acne/scar/in-toxicated skin will be worse. Haiz I told her before his skin is due to his toxic body! Reason again!! Eating much meat in his meal and no detox cleansing! Finally today I voiced out to him not to change his pants daily. I doubt he will listen. Update: he didn't listen and still changes every fucking day Let's see what will happen. If he still change I shall convinced mil not to wash his pants till he have nothing to wear and washes it himself. Update: I didn't ask mil to do so.. Until one day I can't stand again how she crowd-laundry I WILL! I'm not gonna fold his laundry... >(

Ok. I'll stop today never ending complain. Another one another day. Till then... 



Saturday, March 1, 2014

You Who Came from The Stars


ITS OVER !!!

T_T T_ T T_T

21 episodes of fairytale story over! why cant they make it like 40 episodes... but then again that will be boring... Cos they can't only film the love lifes, there must be some danger or something to make the drama more interesting.. and the villain already imprisoned so unless they create another character right... hmmm

My Do Min Joon...!!

I don't know why I became so crazed with the story.. but of course I'm not the only one... especially the kiss scenes.. even though its's short (cos its PG 15) but my heart flutters everytime they kiss!
I don't have flutter feelings when I watch other shows like Vampire Diaries, twolight... and TVD even have MORE erotic scenes!

Why ah?

First time heart flutters: Cos unexpected...


Then this.. 



 repeatedly watch this and still get flutters!


FLUTTERS ALL THE WAY!


Even when DMJ dreamt happy dreams of him being ordinary and waking up, staying around CSY I also felt the happpiness! Really a drama that successfully portrays happy feeling


Well everyone says the ending is something not expected which is good,  but logically thinking if everyone and the media saw the disappearing act, aren't the world gonna find DMJ and ask me millions questions and even catch him up to "test"? Hahaha... #funnyfairytaleending #logicalison

Oh over jor... and I miss this Drama and miss Korea even more T_T

I downloaded The Theives and My sassy girl to watch soon! hehehe...







Thursday, February 13, 2014

I joined Herbalife!!

10/2/2014 - Candice told me about the Healthy drink store (told me a few times, I didn't really take note cos I thought I wont have the time to stop by) name Mornz near my house so people actually go in there and have a breakfast drink before work, or takeaway... RM14 per drink and you can choose your preferred flavor or have their Special of the day. Their promotion for first timers is buy 5 free 2 and you can decide to buy their 30days or 15? days package later...

Their 7 days member card
To tell the truth this is the 2nd time I join Herbalife. First time was 10 years ago *gulp* when I was still a poor student... the way they market then was look for more people and you make more $ and as a desperate poor student... and I had RM80 in my pocket... the easily influenced Alison throw her money into becoming a member... bought only a box of energy bar to try.. and that's it. Then I felt all their product is over expensive and poor me cant afford...

Back to now, their membership is RM94? and yearly renewal for active member is 38 if not mistaken... (lazy to take the price list out and read)

I have been aiming for a good diet and slim down that ever growing belly. after numerous tries of diet pills and lotions and failed exercise regime, I wanted to try something that works. A dealer dealing with my office is using Herbalife (bringing the Herbalife labeled drinking bottle around Everytime she comes) and I had asked her some questions. She even showed me how fat she was 2 years ago after delivering her son. Tempting to join but the monthly commitment is a little high.. apart from the expensive products, I am to stop having morning breakfast, and dinner and replace them with their shakes... I doubt I can achieve that. And MIL always cooks for dinner... and frowns/nags if I skip them... :-/

Anyway, I finally put my foot down and tried it. By first trying their morning shake, as their "healthy bar" opens at 7am, and they had them all blended up with additional fresh fruits and oats.

13/2/14 - special shake of the day: Strawberry-Banana-with barley. Yumz

It simpled up my life and no need to dicipline myself to wake up extra early and prepare myself a shake. You dont know how "big" the kitchen is and MIL wakes up so early. I doesn't fit me in. The mess, the washing, the heat... hmm.. many many reason to not want to step in there....

Now I just wake up half an hour early to prepare myself and go the Mornz and order my drink and drink my shake while I drive to office. So easy! My challenge now is night time. I already bought a set of Formula 1 and am suppose to drink once at night. I do hope I can make it.

Discipline ALISON!

Also got their aloe concentrate (remove air and *ehem* toxins) and their omega oil (good for brain and I-forgot-what) hehe.. 



Trying it right now as a healthy supplement, if its good, I'll make Henry to join, and see how.. I'm not sure can I get members or not.. hehe... if I get active member I can have more points and earn some moolah lar... ;) 

Good news coming soon ;) Wait for it...