F*ck Mother's Day... >(

He post a picture of happy mother's day in his wechat moments.. and in his fb... >( this kind of social wannabe, potraying such a good person la wishing everyone HMD..

HE DIDNT WISHED ME OR HIS MOTHER LOR... WTF

Im not pissed he didnt wish lar, 3rd year already... but Im pissed him demanding me like a MAID...

Bell is sitting on the table with him, eating hotdogs, and he sat there with her watching his ipad, and I sitting on the sofa mending my things (tv) and he can demand me to get a cup of water to bell... Why cant he move a bit and get it???

Ipad dramas can be paused but no, im the maid!

Sommore MOTHER'S DAY I toast bread and made milo for him ... not the other way round meh!!! 
I willing do so if its been ask nicely, not demanding like a maid!!!! >(   #sopissed
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He ask me to call unifi and ask how long more the contract for taming, WHY CANT HE CALL IT HIMSELF??? how hard to call 100 and press BAHASA MALAYSIA??

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Night time BIL ask to join for dinner, since I didnt go back seremban to celebrate with my mum, and so we went.. I took out my ipad for bell, but I played a bit of games first before passing to bell, and he can sternly warn me not to play such things there???? is it illegal to play games?? Its cooking dash!!! WTF? He read his soccer news can???

and the whole dinner he is so pissed looking.. he didnt even want to order food!

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We cannot talk nice conversations anymore, its either he turn the topic to make it his point, or just annoy/irritated I've talked.

What have I done wrong???

I told him I need to go times square and he can forget about it and wanted to yumcha with a property agent, then I was just telling him there is a nice new cafe open near us, we shall go visit it sometime and he got pissed WTF

In the end I go Times Square didnt get my things, I have to accompany him to buy his slippers WTF

ALL HE WINS LA!! 

Random wechat FLIRTERS WTF

How should I start... I am pissed..

This is not the first time. Caught him once wechat FLIRTING with the china masseuse (but from the conversation the masseuse just want business, since he is not in China = no biz = no layan... ) fine~ i kept quiet

(googled: and if hangky panky happen in massage center, heavy fine and passport blacklist if caught *thumbs up*)

I noticed something weird these two days.. he will quickly close the chat when he saw me approch.. like hiding something.. Although its written in Chinese, I am sure they are not talking business.. :(

So choice: Ignore or check. Ignore it as a normal chit chat. Perhaps he want to destress.. As long as he brings in the meat and not get caught by me... ignore.......................

But... I cant do it..

"Sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit" Normal chit chat now.. Yes random person(but FEMALE!).. who knows later chat till enter the head, flirting become infatuation and they plan to meet up?  What happen next? And who knows where is the location of this chatters? He have to work outstation every month.. few outstations.. and overseas trips.. his brother who follows him overseas may or may not know about it. And just say if it happens and BIL knows and dont tell me how???? Who knows where he will meet some random strangers and till what extend? hotel rooms is not expensive nowadays... I've seen much true stories.. Say outstation but actually gone holiday with lovers, or lovers follow along in business trips.

Prevention is better than cure~~ there no cure for this anyway..

You see, we are in a business. But we are not rich. When you have more income, you wanna live better, you want a better car, a better house, better school for the kids.. better food, better clothes and shoe to be on par with the business "expats". But because we are in business, its it is always better to be safe and have some backup of $ and so, entertainment towards me and the kids is lesser(i mean expensive holidays) and his reason is "gotta work or else no income".. "gotta keep some $ cos economy is low" "kids is still too young to travel far"

I trust him, I pitied him, I made myself to save...But what if those "extra" income is used to entertain lovers?

I regret everly forever.

I help him to work with low pay. Yes, I have no commitment, and he brings in the meat. But low pay really makes me insecure. And I dont have much savings to survive... What if D day suddenly comes (touch wood)?? but what if? How do I survive when I cant even afford to buy a house?

What job am I capable of?? Everything have to be restarted.. and you need lotsa $$ and support to do so isnt it?


So free to chat with random strangers, why not help me with the house chores? Wash the clothes/fold the clothes and clean the dishes and mop the floor la! Why should I be the one doing it?

And he wanna win over this situation!! Like I dont know his strategy already!

he was like "why cannot just chat with friends is it?"

THEY ARE RANDOM PEOPLE! NOT FRIENDS YET! DONT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!!

Means if I quietly allow him to chat with friends, means its a green light to continue "random chatting" ????

So if he does that, can I random chat with guys randomly too?? No? And he said I also no give him face and chat with guys..

COME CHECK MY PHONE... WHICH GUY I FLIRT WITH NOW?? I DELETE NO CONVERSATIONS UNLIKE YOU!!!

To double confirm, I checked my whatsapp.. WM is elaine's husband, who needed to rant his feeling about elaine.

CY is someone else husband too! And cos he said he got pass by the office so he want to invite me lunch, which I have declined.

JW just wished me for bday and CNY..

WHO AM I FLIRTING WITH NOW???

98% of my chat are FEMALES..now how, wanna say im LESBIAN Mou??????!!!!

Who is trying to phyco who now??

bloody asshole!!

I am going to koh samui, and I am spending his money. Who cares!

I'm stingy, but I couldn't bear to let my kids put this on anymore!

I couldn't believe it at first... Malaysia's most favourite baby lotion (J&J) is a safety hazzard product. (link1)-dated 28/5/2013  (link2)-dated 13/8/2013 And most of us bought it to use on our newborn's delicate skins..

Annabell pretty much finished TWO LARGE bottles... and a few more bottles of those travel sized...
Thank goodness Annabell's skin didnt have any reaction to them.. Because Annabell have no reactions, so I got the same brand for Alivia and started using it since she got back from the hospital (Annabell started using J&J like around 5-6mths as I got 2 bottles of organic lotions on sale during mother expo.. it was good, but expensive, so I switch!)  

But due to Alivia's body more prone to sensivity/redness, she tends to have red patches around her body... We thought it was ezcema.. and very hardworking-ly slab on a lot of those ezcema creams.. sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.. and I heard (not yet done my own research ) those ezcema creams doctor gave HAVE Steroids too! and then from red it became white patches.. We still think it was ezcema, and doctor said it will go off later..

Then.. J&J lotion finished, and I didnt have time to buy another bottle (if you know my story) I managed to find some leftover bottles of organic lotions (no idea who gave or left it at home, not expired yet, probably left by MIL day-care babies) and used it on Alivia. The first tube was Sebamed. But I hated its thick consistency. My hand could never "slide" over my baby's body.. felt like Im rubbing her instead =_="

So I tried the Bud Everyday cream and yes, smells nice, smooth and guess what? Alivia's body have lesser and lesser red pathces!   What else? Maybe Alivia is sensitive to some ingredients in J&J lotion.. So I got myself another tube of Bud's Everyday Organics Baby Cream. Waaaaaay more expensive than J&J (J&J retails RM20~ for 500ml then, Buds RM35.9 for 150ml on a discounted online website and RM50++ on baby shop...) but what to do right?

Anyway.. Since Annabell started daycare(another story, another time), I thought she need lotions after her bath there (I've stopped applying lotion to Annabell since she is around 2years old, MIL said she apply it once in a while, but since somebody is applying her lotion, why not? heheh..) and there isn't any J&J lotions at home anymore, I went out to get a tube. The pharmacy have a varieties of normal lotions, so I thought I check out their ingredients and see which is the best..

To my HORROR... they all contain cetyl alcohol, stearyl alcohol (ain't alcohol evaporates and leaves your skin even drier????) fragrance(it is fine, but link1 said J&J had a lot of fragrance in it that it scales a dangerous no8 (1 is the safetest), Dimethicone(What? Link said danger level 3 and " a silicone-derived emollient, is that its occlusive nature (meaning that it coats the skin with an impenetrable layer) can cause irritation when sweat gets trapped underneath. Not only are synthetic silicones non-biodegradable, but they also may accumulate in the liver and lymph nodes, where they may foster the growth of tumors." TUMORS?? OMG Mother F! ), Methylparaben, ethylparaben! propylparaben! (PARABEN!) OMG I dont even..! , Titanium Dioxide!? Aluminium Hydroxide?? ALUMINIUM in BABY'S LOTION???  Acetate??? I use acetate to remove nail polish!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!
 

Not advertising (I dont get money from them anyway, I PAY them for their lotions) but do you know what's in Buds Everyday Organics Baby Cream?

"aqua/water,
aloe barbadensis leaf juice*, -aloevera
simmondsia chinensis (jojoba) oil*,
butyrospermum parkii (shea butter) fruit*,
olea europaea (olive) oil*,
cetearyl olivate,
sorbitan olivate,
portulaca oleracea extract,
fructan,
tocopherol,
helianthus annuus (sunflower) seed oil,
olea europea (olive) leaf extract,
lavandula angustifolia (lavender) oil*,
pelargonium (geranium) graveolens oil*,
parfum/perfume,
phytic acid,
sodium benzoate,
potassium sorbate.

parfum made from essential oils
*ingredients from organic farming
99.6% of the total ingredients are from natural origin
20.0% of the total ingredients are from organic farming
99.3% of the plant ingredients are from organic farming"

In the online shop I shop, Buds is the most economy organic lotion for babies.

Im so spending more $$ on Organic lotions for my babies T_T Sorry Annabell mummy put poison on you for such a long time TT____TT

Please let me know if you can find even better and cheaper organic lotions  (apart from making it myself -_-")

Once a month...

I noticed my blogging rate now is kinda once a month... well... on a positive side... better than none...

On a sad note... a bit down today when P came... I thought I was pregnant... sigh... it's like a week late.. I noticed a little spotting a few weeks back that I thought its the "implantation"... then my tummy suddenly lower bottom bloated.. I thought.................... sigh................... :'(

But then I have no sickness (thank godness) or cravings.. well... I snack most of the times in office.. Im not sure how pregnancy cravings goes.. And the bloating went off like last week.. and this morning I have some kinds of uneasiness symptoms in my tummy..... 

Already having thoughts when will be my baby's due date.. perhaps a 12.12.12 baby... :( maybe I put my hopes to high to get a dragon baby... Hubby ask me to take it slow... dont make myself stressed.. but how to not stress every month anticipating when my period will come or not??

Sigh.. I dunno la... No dragon... snake lor..

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No crafts project done so far... Im losing hope on my 2012 resolution.. but yet im still spending $$ buying scrapbooking tools to hoard.. and still wanting more.. >.< last month spend around RM170 buying something from ebay.. this month spend similar amount buy punchers and embelisments on sale in joann and s&c.. >.<

Still DREAMING to get myself a slice machine and a photo printer... like doing a BIG business whereas nothing had started! 

Horrible.. then also have the feeling to buy more stuff.. made Hubby go IOI last weekend to buy me a cotton dress and a skirt from Mango Outlet after feeling I have no new work clothes...1 skirt got an iron burnt mark not sure by me or the maid, 1 nice high waisted snake skin pattern got a tear.. (tho mended.. still feel... emmm...) 2 pants are too small for my size now... another skirt looks weird on me due cos im just too fat >.<

Wanna dress more glam to work but actually apart from entertaining myself there's no purpose cos no 1 to see or admire... wheares the other 1 only wear casual to work... but every Friday and Saturday when I make myself a casual work wear day... I spent quite a few minutes sitting on the bed looking at my wardrobe thinking what should I wear.. I have worn this, I have worn that... I just washed these, I just ironed these... that too sexy OTT for office... etc... >.<

Buy more clothes, no place to put.. fashion nowadays are all body hugging and Im not in my confidence now to wear body hugging clothes... argh... I just have lots to complain... bear with me... or click somewhere else...

Better stop here.. Taaa... 

Life of a married couple...

What do they do? also movie, dinner, shopping? what else that is exciting that a married couple can do? Something to perk some fun in?

No im not bored of married life.. hello.. how long i just got married?? but I do feel old and a little frustrated by thinking what to do... especially for weekend..

I love weekend, cos we can both sleep in (I somehow dont feel comfortable to sleep in late during weekdays when Henry is off work.. I wake up aroudn 9.30-10am.. ) I love to go out.. but when going out means nothing but stress and unhappy mood, I feel going out is a chore... if u know what I mean..

Everyone goes out on weekend.. shopping, malls, movies.. this equals to jam everywhere.. weekday jam, working hour jam, weekend also jam.. it make going out a chore. When Mr Lee face traffic jam.. he start cursing.. I HATE WHEN HE DOES THAT.. I feel like he hates going out!

But he's the one who feels weekend is a waste if dont go out.. he is the one who ask me to go out.. he is the one who ask me where to go.. I wanna go buy a printer.. but he said no place to put... since here in bukit bintang ady.. again ask me where i wanna go.. I suggest go sungai wang but there's nothing I can do there going there with him cos he always show me a "sien" look when I go into a shop just to look see.. and another "sien" look when he's leg is tired from a little walking (no matter he's wearing light weight shoe, or slipper, his legs get "sour" very fast! ) or another "sien" look when I really bought something..

I just dont dare to buy things infront of him! not cos he'll scold.. I rather if he scold.. but he give me words that I dislike hearing.. like buy la buy la, i no eye see ady! or please save ur $$.. money hard to find... now ure not working... bla bla bla.. and im sure he'll say that dont i have enough shopping in taiwan?

also there's no space at all in my wardobe.. T_T and I need to get some space to hang my uniforms soon.. T_T..

Somehow, after everyone knows you're married, they hardly come disturb you or invite you out. They expect the married couple have many other things and plan to do or wanna spend time together... I rather have more outgoing friends atleast to pass time talking and chatting..

Maybe because Im not working now, I feel there's not much topic for me to talk about.. We both have laptops and we just each wanna have alone time surfing the internet.. Even when we are out in cafe.. we dont talk much but facing our own laptop.. doing out own things online.. and its so noisy out there... just cant talk much can we?

And Henry rather hide in the room all day then going into the living room to relax and watch some tv.. (or when he do, only the freaking boring sport chanel) Im not sure does he still feel this house is not his? While he hide in his corner surfing the net, I, who doesnt own a corner, (or hell, my corner are too full of my stuff to hide me) I am the "laptop nomad shifter" sit a while on bed, sometimes on floor, sometimes my dressing chair.. sometimes the living room.

Speaking of privacy.. apart from hiding in the room, there's no privacy elsewhere.. cos I hate when people ask me what am I doing.. or while im enjoying doing something, people cut me off by talking and asking.. which if i dont answer, i feel rude.. like how I hate when henry does that..

Which also come into the topic (or my other lame reason) why i've yet to be able to do my scrapbooking, blinging, knitting, beading... cos there's no space in the room and no privacy in the living room.. haih.. no table for me to do work

I want my own home! Home where I can have my own wardrobe, my own table and racks, a nice cool garden for me to sit, relax with a cuppa and read books!!! If Henry did buy that condo.. how nice... if Setia Alam is not so freaking far.. how nice! I could have been living in my own home, doing my things, my way.. A HOME where I can do a little amateur gardening.. I already feel zen... haih..

Henry keep saying wanna keep those $$ and start a bussiness.. but TWO years! and yet nothing had been done.. and $$ getting little cos we keep spending it.. he also wanna wait for next year when housing $$ goes lower and get a house.. I just feel frust sometimes cos I cant wait!!! This little room and condo is too full of people and other people stuff to have my stuff around!! argh!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!

I just have so much to complain about.. and there's no one I could talk to cos Im afraid other people will say im childish, not understanding.. or my married life is not bliss.. :( I dont wan that!

And I dont understand.. why I can take my time to go help henry when he need something from me while when I want him to see something he takes his time? I feel unfair.. eg: he doing maybank credit card payment and need my help and I was surfing and he give me this "tsk" (cicak call-irritate way) and I have to quickly go help him or he'll be very dissapointed that i have no heart to help my own husband.. only care my own stuff.. but when I ask him to see d room or rates in japan (he ask me to search and I have to do it like asap) and he took a lil time finishing his game before coming to see??? I hate that!

And when Im just kidding dont let him scoop my taufufah and he became no mood cos I dont share? I was just kidding!!! I dont understand why is the unfairness?

2 things come at once

korea called... im to fly to korea on 8th nov. 10th is health screening test. 11th training.

suddenly dillema hit me... like i have <1 month more of holiday. My plan to get pregnant and hav another 18 months to decide my career failed. I am to work again. To fly again.... Can I stay up for midnght flight and time difference?

Being a Libra is tough... I am now weighing my thoughts and I cant decide...

I can wear my beloved boots and winter coats again... I can go shopping in hawaii again. I am gonna go buy more baby clothes.. I can go shenzhen and hk in june and not worried i wasted the ticket

I might/might not be able to celebrate christmas /new year /chinese new year if i fly. nor henry's bday..

Henry is not back yet. On such day he suddenly have dinner thingy with sengheng. and was busy when I wanna to call him and tell him my period came...

I dont know... Olivia Ong's music is making me tear.. But Im not sure what tear is this? Tear cos I lost my baby? or lost my plan? or feelings im still thinking from the book i read??

I finish reading 3/4 of a book today. Trying to immerse myself into the story and not think. I finish the book I started. Finally. For a long time. I can tick a check box for finishing a task I wanted to do during this 3 months holiday.

I've yet to scrap a single piece of photo I printed. I've yet to learn how to knit. I dint start on the bead I bought for my jewellery making. I dint stick a single bling to my psp or nintendo yet. I dint do any nicer pedicure for me yet.

What have I been doing so far? I think i've forgotten.. and I have no idea where to start...