i wanna blog about my flight today... but as i on my laptop, log into the internet, i got emotional... i guess "auntie" wanna come visit, as i tend to have ups and downs emotion during the pre time... hey every girl has it ok...
suddenly, i've missed him. I was only thinking bout him all the time during my duty... then when i saw him online, I was so happy, i sent him an i miss you message.
things started getting emo when he remembers my birthday, and ask me what i want. but for this particular birthday, i dont feel like wanting anything. Anything, that can be bought over by money.
so i told him i want nothing that he can get for me or i can get it myself. and he guessed it right, i need the caring feeling again. caring feeling not from family, or friends, but a special someone. who will make that care very special to me and only me...
as i type this, im getting more and more emo, tears just keep coming...
I just hate being single! why do i have to be single? at this time, where emotional support is needed urgently... WHY?
I need to be loved again...
this is the time, every horoscopes in magazines and newspapers tell me its time to flirt... but here i am, couldnt just flirt flirt. like it used to be 2 years ago. the alison today wanna be loved. not loving someone. and to the fact im tooo picky there's no other guy out there that i want
a part of me missing him and his stuff... part of me still couldnt forget his sins to trust him back. part of me wanna try something new. another part is desperate but another part wants to keep the dignity. another part just cant wait and be patient to try and move on! now... how many part of me do i actually have?
It was just yesterday, while showing christine some pics i took in redang, ( a holiday with him) I smiled silly with his pictures... I really miss him...
Im not posting this because im desperate. just jotting down my feelings that i couldnt share around like other normal thing. to me, this thing couldnt be told to anyone of my friends as they'll surely scold me silly for having such feelings but yet cos im emo today and this is my blog, i have rights to write what i want and what i feel without being judge.. oh wtf!
btw photos of chicago will be posted soon as soon as ms emo wanna leave me alone to peace... and also bout today's flight...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You just have to hang in there. It's normal to feel ups and down sometimes in life.. exactly like a roller coaster ride. The emotions are enhanced especially when you are lonely and miss someone terribly. We don't really know when things will be better and sometimes we do wonder if it ever will get better. But trust me.. I have been through that path.. it does get better. You just need to be strong.. have faith and have the strength to move on. Better things are waiting for you, a special someone who will treasure and appreciate you for who you are is out there somewhere. Just have to believe that fate will bring both of you together. :)
dear alison hunny, evryone knows they will move on its just a matter of when. in the meantime, try not to contact him la. it'll only make it harder for you to move on. go out with frens do something, anything.
wishing that u'll feel different soon.. muax
Post a Comment