Emo craps

Have you people watch nanny diaries? Well, I just did..

Im not trying to write a synopsys or a movie review.. for me, it was just another chick flick, if im categorizing it well..

Im not watching it on the cinema either..

Yeap, im a downright illegal downloader.. I love movies, and this job isn’t allowing me to frequent movies either… not to say, im so single right now..

Awwww… its totally not that fun watching with only friends right?

I mean, of course it is great, watching with friends especially besties.. but for me, it’ll be GREATER to cuddle up for a movie.. you know, cold air conditioning, dark surroundings.. romantic endings… you get what I mean..

Yeah nanny diaries was a nice, great movie, with a red umbrella like mary poppins… but midway thru, when the scriptwriter was trying to squeeze in some touchy moments, making you cant upheld that tears any longer……..

Ok. If you don’t get touched easily, then I am the touchy one

Alright

Get to the point of blogging.. but I guess as I have wrote this long, im feeling a lil better now…

That’s my point of blogging… to release what I held in my useless brain, and touchy heart.

And tonight, I am emo again.

“you always like that laa Alison” my conscience telling me

As I’ve been flying with Aimee for the past whole month, and being having some hectic plans, all way thru december and early january, I have no time or chance of being emo..

But today, I got an individual room… like I said, normally I have room sharing basis as a junior, but I guess hotel got some extra rooms today.. so I got one room for me and only me…

yeap, get to make lots of noise without actually worried I’ll disturb others.. gotta throw all my stuff around the room without fearing people will say im a messy freak (I AM!!)

And gotto sleep whatever time I like too… cos tomorrow’s a day off in Incheon.

So I went to the month long overdue sauna visit, had supper and watch 2 movies.. after a 14 hours and 30 minutes flight back from Atlanta.

Total awaken hours: 2 for getting ready+1 before flight briefing and traveling+14.30 flight hours+1 hour debrief and travel back to hotel+ 2 hours dinner and groceries shopping+1.30 sauna and 4.30 hours movie time+1 hour blogging

Total: 25 hours 30 minutes??!!

Terror leh!!

Ok la.. not so qua cheong la… I had 4 hours of nap time in flight and a 10 minute nap after sauna… if that counts… ;-)

I still haven’t got directly into my blogging tonight…

While watching near the end of nanny diaries, where the touchy things starts, I cried.

I sobbed.

Hard.

Not because it was so touching… yes it was a touching movie, but I could had never cried so hard..! It was just a movie!

But cos I felt alone… again

I truly wish there’s someone to talk to me here, to hug me when I cry… to give me a caring kiss on my forehead.

I hate lonely

Hate

I could look so strong when somebody is around, but once I am alone again, I felt lonely. I felt weak.

I don’t know does other crews have such situation, but I do. And even if they felt lonely, they can call their boyfriends. Some call their mummy too...

I have no boyfriend to call… sound pathetic huh?

No. I can always call my ex ( he did say so) but I don’t cos I don’t feel he can even help!

I wanna call my mummy.. But it’s midnight here as I type, waking them up at this time is no good, plus, I am an independent girl to my mummy, I’m raised to be independent. calling her at this time, will make her worry sick. And calling her to tell her im emo and lonely makes it worse… and weird, cos I never had done that..

I know some crews cry for missing their families (sorry if your reading this, you know who!) but I don’t miss my family that made me cry!

Hey! I love my family! But not to the extend of crying. Like I said, grew to be independent. Can still manage without them…

I want something else. A single person of my dreams.. who could make me relax and feel needed.

Im just such an attention seeker.. I know..

Not to brag, I’ve never been single since I started dating (bad history) and thus being single now is really hard to bear… you know… sigh…

wtf.

im going to watch another movie.