Im useless... =(

No, its not a emo post.. pms-ses over..

At times, I do feel useless.. sigh..

I find myself not being able to be qualified for a job. Yes I blame part of myself being choosy.. and part of it couldnt even qualified for some requirements..

Eg: Graphic Design. I had a Multimedia Diploma cert. But that was 4 years ago. I keep saying I went to a pariah college. But the fact is IF I ever did put some effort in my projects and portfolio, Im sure Im better. My other college-mates seems to be working fine in this industry. Why not me? Now I see the requirements, Like you need to know HTML, or 3D, or Flash.. I mean I can self learn 3D, but flash and html is kinda hard.. to me..  =( Then now some printing companies requires me to know the printing block or something for separate color printing machine.. which I don't remember anymore.. =(

and then, part of me is feeling that with my qualification, how much can I earn in GD? 1k? 2k? is it even enough? I've been sooooo used to 3-4k pay!!!

Now, skip GD, we go to other industry that I may be able to work... Like admin! or HR! but requirements: Minimum diploma in bussiness admin, or human resource.. SIGH! I dont have that! Unless I go take a diploma/degree course now! Who's paying me? Even if I study part time, I need a job to pay for it right? Who's hiring me~??

Sales.. Been to 2 inteviews! Ok, so I dislike the Dell.. but Citibank kinda sounds interesting.. but till now no news.. I dont know is it the way I gave my answer in the interview to not get these positions, or just Im not qualified cos I have no experience or what-so-ever.. =(

I wanna do sales, cos I believe if I put my effort in, I am able to get my previous salary amount.. but if it requires me to cold call... well... I already dislike ppl who cold calls me.. now I have to do the same?????? I dont know.. =( If that sales requires me to go out and find clients.. Im not sure how good am I to be able to talk to them and sell my sales.. low confidence... =(

We had some talk that day... hubby and me.. and he actually suggest I take an interior design course and then future up a biz in kitchen design and hobs.. I am interested! Someone's actually agrees to me to learn ID!! =D  But after a bit, Hubby thinks that biz needs a lot of revenues? Cos have to give me time to study ID, work a bit for the experience and hire contractors and lorry drivers.. buy lorry... etc etc... sigh!!

I even researched for a ID college. And I found a part time 1... I mean I do have some basic, so I can pretty much learn them more easily right? I'll have to talk to Hubby and convince him...

And mummy actually thinks ID is not good. And ask me to learn to be a Hair dresser wtf... -____-"" I am not looking down on hair dresser, but its not my field of interest.. I might just learnt it and dump it half way right? I rather she let me learn nail art.. ah... speaking of mummy.. I dont know what kind of things in her mind, asking me to apply for a government job. Easy and good pay job wtf.. No, I dont like to join the M work force!!

You may say "how come those with lesser qualification than me can have jobs and I cant?" And I say it again.. I have a part of me who couldn't sacrify for a lower pay... but to get that higher pay needs more qualifications... so how?

Now, advise me what to do? Im so stuck.. and the longer Im at home the lazier I get... you know... procrastinations.. and penniless... =(